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Author Previous Topic: How the fight started... Topic Next Topic: Toxic burden-just a heads up  

Sunny

RO# 10414

Posted - Feb 08 2007 :  17:04:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

For those of you who are seasonal boaters, how do you handle not seeing your non boating friends or family during the boating season?

Homeport: Seneca River, NY

duck

RO# 17014

Posted - Feb 08 2007 :  18:13:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A very good question Sunny. It's very difficult. We've had experiences where in order to get to a family function in say CT, we'd take the boat out, get there, dock, and have someone shufffle us back and forth. Not always convenient, especially with dogs on the boat and not everyone welcomes pets into their home. I have one cousin who became so angry that we didn't make each of her 3 children's summer birthday parties because we were out on the boat for the weekend, that we barely speak now.

I've never understood why I'm required to respect the lifestyles of others (children, recitals, try-outs, birthdays, etc.,), but they can't understand ours. Now many are like this, but there are exceptions. We pretty much live on the boat during the summer when I'm not teaching, and I'm not inclined to give up a week or weekend on the boat to attend a birthday party that lasts for 3 hours. People need to understand that we all have priorities.

We do try and invite family and friends out on the boat during the summer. We do this in good size groups, and really entertain them. I guess it's part of our way of getting them to understand the life-style, and share some of it with us. Most do.

I look at it this way: they have us from October through May for the most part, and we do a fair amount of entertaining at home and visiting then. It just has to be enough. We've worked hard to achieve what we have now, and we have a right to enjoy it without grief. I tell some of them: buy a boat! Then we can hang out together more often.




Homeport: Go to Top of Page

Nancy

RO# 4224

Posted - Feb 08 2007 :  20:42:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What Duck said. ;)

Nancy


1995 Albin 28TE
Cummins 6BTA5.9 250

Homeport: Malletts Bay, Lake Champlain Go to Top of Page

slats

RO# 19122

Posted - Feb 09 2007 :  08:29:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I actually enjoy the fact that I always have an "out" or excuse not to attend functions that I really do not like attending anyway.


Homeport: Merrick, NY Go to Top of Page

chamchela

RO# 16589

Posted - Feb 11 2007 :  05:48:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What Slats said. > > ;) ;)

Hmmm, are we seasonal sailors? Yes, because we're back on shore now, earning money ... so I'll join in. <ggg> I must say that during the years we were slowly renovating our boat and preparing her for our voyage, my sister and family were very supportive and helpful. But they never really believed we would actually GO, you see. I realised this when we were actually GONE, and they showed their fury in angry silences for the first few weeks. Well, to be fair, they dithered between panic attacks when they hadn't heard from us for way too long between stops (we had many days of no wind so our voyages doubled in expected time!), and then angry silences after they'd established we were safe when we finally reached shore and could contact them! LOL! I think my sister felt psychologically deserted, and she went through a very stressful time after we left. So did my mother, who is old, and terrified of our sailing, no matter what we say about it being the safest sport, etc. Our two adult children had grown up with the knowledge we were going voyaging, and they've supported us all the way, even financially quite often, buying things for the boat. My daughter's panic evidences in her putting money into our bank account "so she's sure we're always able to eat"!! They were also quite stressed during our actual legs, though, when we didn't show up on time (lesson learned: triple the time you expect to be at sea, and then tell everyone to add another month to that!! Alternately, of course, buy great communication equipment so no one has to worry, har!). So yes, I have to say my family took it quite badly in many ways, or rather, it AFFECTED them badly in many ways. They're much happier now we're back on dry land!


Jo and Andrew Holloway
www.chamchela.co.uk

Homeport: Guernsey Go to Top of Page

To the Max

RO# 11796

Posted - Feb 11 2007 :  22:04:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
" I've never understood why I'm required to respect the lifestyles of others (children, recitals, try-outs, birthdays, etc.,), but they can't understand ours. Now many are like this, but there are exceptions. We pretty much live on the boat during the summer when I'm not teaching, and I'm not inclined to give up a week or weekend on the boat to attend a birthday party that lasts for 3 hours. People need to understand that we all have priorities. "

I could not have put it into my own words better.... For the last 4 years since we discovered the joys of overnight boating we have barely accepted an invitation. We are fortunate to have all year boating available to us down here also - so winter is not a down time for us.

It has taken about 3 years for our old friends to accept and understand that e will not accept invitations between Friday and Sunday unless it is absolutely special - 40th, 50th, weddings, funerals and thats about all.
The only hard part is for our kids (6 & 8) as sometimes I feel obligated to accept invitations when it is for one their good friends. However, mostly they would rather skip the party and spend the weekend on the boat as they have so many boating friends and have such a great time with us every weekend that their school friends are not their priorities anymore.

I wouldn't change our lifestyle for anything.


Cheers
2theMax

Homeport: Sydney, Australia Go to Top of Page

MacInCt

RO# 20223

Posted - Feb 12 2007 :  07:55:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Our friends have all been pretty understanding. Many of them have their own "obsessions". I'm thinking of the ones with ski houses in Vermont that they go to every weekend from Christmas to Easter or the ones with summer houses that they go to every weekend from Memorial Day to Labor Day. The boat is actually helpful in visiting our summer house friends. We can get a slip in Sag Harbor, the Nantucket Boat Basin, Martha's Vineyard, etc., see the friends, have dinner, hang out at their house or on the boat and maintain everyone's privacy, not mess up the guest room, etc. And if they are so kind as to offer the use of their washer and dryer, so much the better!

Nancy

2003 Johnson 70 - Charmer

Homeport: Nantucket, MA & Miami, FL Go to Top of Page

joyce GVL

RO# 12083

Posted - Feb 12 2007 :  22:59:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just tell them, "too hip, gotta go" we actually have lots of non-boater friends want to do a day sail just because they think I can't do it. Hubby is great by informing them that I can sail whatever comes my way and to bring some bonine.


Homeport: San Diego, CA Go to Top of Page

PEteach

RO# 10328

Posted - Feb 17 2007 :  15:38:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We just do are best to invite many of them on day trips and an occasional overnighter. The majority of them love to come with and let us know there free weekends so we can work are summer trips out. We only get late April to mid October to boat here in Minnesota so people are understanding. Now I'm finding it hard that we don't see are boating friends through the winter months!! We have planned a few get togethers but it's just not the same as being on the water together. Looking forward to first splash in April sometime weather permitting!.


Homeport: Prescott, WI Go to Top of Page

joyce GVL

RO# 12083

Posted - Feb 17 2007 :  23:22:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have the advantage of being able to sail any time of the year. Some of our non-boater friends come for a day sail. The art of smooth sailing comes into play with a lot of them, and makes me a better Captain if I can keep my crew and guests happy. "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy ! "


Homeport: San Diego, CA Go to Top of Page

oneillch

RO# 30796

Posted - Jan 25 2010 :  12:27:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I know this an an old post, but it still rings true for 2010. I have told my daughter, family and friends that they can make any kind of plans they want to on weekends from October to May, but don't plan any get-togethers, weddings, and funerals between June and September. That's my time on the boat!


Homeport: edison, nj Go to Top of Page

walterv

RO# 12640



Posted - Jan 25 2010 :  18:32:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Funeral?????
I don't think they have any control there unless you want to supply the ice :)


And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin

Homeport: Go to Top of Page

Britanic

RO# 27562



Posted - Jan 25 2010 :  18:59:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Its a great topic...
We have "set the tone" from the begining.
"We will be at the boat from Friday to Sunday, your always welcome to come down whether we are there or not"
I dont like to make plans for the weekend even regarding the boat, like comming down for a barbecue...if its nice, thell be coming down to an empty slip!



Homeport: Barnegat Bay, NJ Go to Top of Page

oneillch

RO# 30796

Posted - Jan 26 2010 :  11:45:38  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
My parents always had a boat and never wanted a "summer house." My dad use to say that "You can't move the house if you see the relatives coming down the road or if you don't like your neighbors."




Edited by - oneillch on Jan 26 2010 11:49:09

Homeport: edison, nj Go to Top of Page

HOGAN

RO# 3813



Posted - Jan 26 2010 :  12:50:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Our non-boating friends have been trained. They know that we will not accept any non-boating invitations during boating season (unless it is terrible weather). They know where to find us.

_________________________


1999 Trojan 440 Express
2005 Scout 175 Sportfish

MMSI# 338049724




Surly to bed, surly to rise...

Homeport: Haverstraw Marina, Haverstraw, NY Go to Top of Page
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