THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

saltysam

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This is all tongue-n-cheek piece, but it does highlight how foolish the Uh hum "Affordable Care Act" is.

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who cant afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.

If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care,

they can force you to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..

Yea...it's that stupid...
 
"But I don't need or want a new boat!"
God: "How long can you tread water, Noah?"

Friend at age 31 THOUGHT she didn't need medical insurance. Three months later her medical bills were over a half-million....

Guess who gets to eat the bills she can't pay?
 
If I am illegal or cannot afford a boat will there be Boateraid to give me a free one?
 
I guess I need to explain to the Admiral that my boat doesn't meet the minimum requirements and we NEED to get a bigger boat.
 
quote:

Originally posted by mdoherty

I guess I need to explain to the Admiral that my boat doesn't meet the minimum requirements and we NEED to get a bigger boat.






+1
 
quote:

Originally posted by stmbtwle

quote:

Originally posted by mdoherty

I guess I need to explain to the Admiral that my boat doesn't meet the minimum requirements and we NEED to get a bigger boat.






+1








That would hold true if the the boat were too small and as a result sink should you ever try to use it.
 
quote:

Originally posted by The Other Gary

If I am illegal or cannot afford a boat will there be Boateraid to give me a free one?






Yes, and when the boat reaches retirement age there will be Boatercare to cover breakdowns and maintenance.

Bob
 
Salty did good. I wonder who'll replace my aging boat?
All the Boatered and similar sites have been cancelled.
How long will it take Congress to get me another boat....
"an innertube?!"
 
Well thought out post, Salty. Although affordable and boat should never be used in the same sentence. :)
 
"Although affordable and boat should never be used in the same sentence."

Aw, I've got like THREE affordable boats, two kayaks and a canoe.
 
I've got Two Affordable Boats.
I'll say this about that. One of the Boat owners who had his insurance cancelled wont get hurt with the Boat I'd like to see him own.
 
quote:

Originally posted by mdoherty

I guess I need to explain to the Admiral that my boat doesn't meet the minimum requirements and we NEED to get a bigger boat.





mdoherty; I'm curious do you have your boat for sale? There is one like your Avitar for sale in Maryland? Probably a long shot but I am curious.
Bill
 
quote:

Originally posted by Billylll

quote:

Originally posted by mdoherty

I guess I need to explain to the Admiral that my boat doesn't meet the minimum requirements and we NEED to get a bigger boat.





mdoherty; I'm curious do you have your boat for sale? There is one like your Avitar for sale in Maryland? Probably a long shot but I am curious.
Bill








Not mine but the nimble factory rep is right up the river from me and usually has some used ones for sale. With the little I used it this year it should be up for sale.
 
"With the little I used it this year it should be up for sale."

I know THAT feeling!!!!
 
While it is obviously said in jest, there is one major problem with the comparison. Healthcare (not insurance) is the only good/service that we receive regardless of our ability to pay. If you walk into a boat dealer and try to purchase a boat but don't have the money to afford it, they will show you the door. When you walk into a healthcare provider, typically an emergency room, you get treatment without concern for your ability to pay. Billions of healthcare debts go uncollected each year, which puts a strain on the system.

If you want to maintain a private insurance based system you need to do one of two things. Either (1) accept a mandate that everyone purchases insurance so the uncollectable debts are reduced or (2) stop treating people who cannot pay (or make cost shifting illegal and force charitable care).
 
quote:

Originally posted by Golfman25

While it is obviously said in jest, there is one major problem with the comparison. Healthcare (not insurance) is the only good/service that we receive regardless of our ability to pay. If you walk into a boat dealer and try to purchase a boat but don't have the money to afford it, they will show you the door. When you walk into a healthcare provider, typically an emergency room, you get treatment without concern for your ability to pay. Billions of healthcare debts go uncollected each year, which puts a strain on the system.

If you want to maintain a private insurance based system you need to do one of two things. Either (1) accept a mandate that everyone purchases insurance so the uncollectable debts are reduced or (2) stop treating people who cannot pay (or make cost shifting illegal and force charitable care).





+1
 
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